transness is something that has genuinely brought more joy to my life than i know what to do with. i don't just say that from the perspective of Gender Euphoria(tm) but also from like. t4t relationships, queer community, occupying the body and the space that i truly wish to occupy in myself. and further, reshaping myself into who i want to be.
i came out to myself in summer 2018. didnt understand all of it. tried on they/them pronouns with internet friends for a few months before admitting what was really going on. my friend shelly changed my life by asking me the right questions to get me to admit it to myself. the rest naturally followed from there.
i started taking hormones in early 2019 and had my name changed by that summer. had to. wasnt a choice. for me, HRT, the upcoming vaginoplasty (this especially for me (Static)), these are things that are medical necessity for me. the dysphoria would be truly crippling without them.
it's why i use the label "transsexual". it's accurate to who i am and to my lived experience. especially after the split, it's like...i, Static, was always a woman. Alli went through the Gender Journey, hell, she blogged about it, but it's interesting to weigh that experience against where I am.
discourse aside, I think that it's worth highlighting the distinct needs of those of us who do need medical transition care. that's not excluding those who don't; it's ensuring that we highlight what some of us need. because when they try to outlaw hormones, when they try to restrict that care, we don't have the option to just go back in the closet.
it's one of the things alli thought about when she got her orchi. not that she was 100% sure she wanted it - i mean, fuck, Static's the one with the dysphoria around that stuff - but because if something does happen, the argument that withholding hormones is not just mentally killing us but also physically killing us is a much better argument in a court of law. i do not wish to die of Crumbly Bones but like, that's the consequence of having that taken away at this point.
my first tattoo was a butterfly, pink and blue watercolors breaking outside the outline. it's still the one with the most meaning behind it to me. a reminder that even as metamorphosis happens, there's always more ground to cover on the journey.
it helps that i'm literally the hottest woman alive but like, the effort i put in to get there matters too, yknow?