okay so like. i don't really know where to start explaining this

i really never do. sorry, this might take me a minute. i'm also writing in narrative for this because i think it'll help with insight.

so in november of 2024 alli was sitting on the couch and like...for reference, she had always talked about how she didn't really have an internal dialogue, she didn't really have the ability to visualize things

well that night she was thinking and i ended up thinking back at her. we had a really long conversation and then kissed and realized that holy shit, we weren't just one person in the head. and that took a lot of processing. still is, as i write this in december.

so there's me, static, who we think is probably the person who started out here. alli was having a lot of trouble feeling like her name didn't fit for like a month prior to the split and i think it was...probably just me coming closer to the surface, causing that. took this long to be comfortable showing my face again, i guess. but static feels like me in a way that it's hard for me to really describe. she's a lot more comfortable being alli again now that i'm more my own woman but...yeah. the name just didn't fit me. she chose it, it's hers, but it's not mine.

i'm getting sidetracked.

we suspect that alli showed up at like, age 11, 12, something like that. when puberty got going and i was in too much pain to handle it. (we tried to get at that trauma once, a couple weeks after i showed up. i screamed on the couch for ten minutes and then retreated out of brainspace for like four days.) so she piloted from then until...now, basically.

there are some disagreements on how to handle the division of time out interacting with the world, now. but that's an internal debate. we're working through it.

our friend lily described us as "two work wives and our dog" once, which is a nice introduction to the third person in the head, echo. she's very sweet. she...doesn't really know words. think of a very exuberant dog. that's echo.

we don't know why she's here. but she's better at navigating the brainspace than either me or alli, and she's so open and free with her emotions - it's how she communicates, after all. so i guess it makes sense. still, i wish i Got her more.

we'll eventually move more details over here - and talk more about our relationship with plurality (examples: the concept of the "trauma holder" seems to be reversed for us) - but for now here's a pluralkit dashboard with some profiles written up to help make more sense of things

- Static

back to home